Last Goodbye
by Love4lupinalways
Summary: Remus Lupin has been asked to infiltrate the werewolf camps again. This time, he is leaving behind the one thing he never allowed himself to believe he could have. The night before he is to leave, he tries to say goodbye to his love, Nymphadora Tonks. This is a very descriptive and heartfelt, emotional, explicit piece. 18 only


"I can't do this, Dora," he said, turning away so he wouldn't see the color fade from her vibrant hair.

"What do you mean you can't do this?" Dora's voice was soft, and Remus heard the sharp hitch in her breath at the end of the question. He felt his heart constrict in his chest, but refused to turn back to look at her, knowing if he did he would crumble.

"Remus?" Her voice was closer, and still, he faced away from her. He felt the muscles of his shoulders constrict as he drew in on himself.

"Remus, please, look at me." Her voice was closer still, her voice softer, but breaking. He could smell the cloying scent of sadness that enveloped them both, and the scent was nearly overwhelming him. Still, he refused to turn.

"Remus." The last was a whisper, and then he heard a slight rustle of clothing as her arm reached out. Even knowing it was coming, he still jumped when he felt her hand press against his shoulder. Her fingers didn't grip him tightly, they merely rested there, and that touch, so gentle, was his undoing.

He drew in a breath, one that sounded suspiciously like a sigh, and then drew himself up even tighter. He still refused to turn, but he did finally acknowledge her.

"Dora," he said, his voice cracking. The tension in the room was thick, the emotion so heavy he was surprised they were both still able to stand up under its pressure.

"Dora, it has to be this way," he mumbled, the words barely making their way out of his mouth. He shifted, intending to step away from her, but she knew him so well. The hand on his shoulder tightened, gripping him, forcing him to stay where he was. She didn't pull, didn't try to turn him, only wanted to hold him in place.

"Dora," he sighed, his pain coloring his words. He heard her breathe in behind him, heard her sniffle as she caught the tone of his voice, but she didn't let go. She didn't move, only held his shoulder with one hand. Her heart was racing, he could hear it thudding against her chest. He concentrated on that sound and slowly matched his own heart rate to hers.

They stood that way for several minutes, their heartbeats and breaths the only sounds. Remus stood, his body turned away from the woman he loved more than life itself, his eyes closed, his mind racing as he tried to convince himself that he was doing the right thing, regardless of how fair it was.

Dora's hand didn't move. She didn't speak. For once, she was patient. She knew him well. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if she did anything at all in this moment, she would lose him forever. And so, she stood, simply holding his shoulder. Breathing behind him. Listening to her heart race and her blood pulse through her veins.

She waited, patiently, quietly, behind him, letting him battle his demons alone. They stood that way so long that she lost track of time. Her arm began to feel tired, the stretched-out position pulling on her shoulder joint. And yet, she refused to shift.

"Dora," came a soft, almost unheard, whisper. The shoulder beneath her hand shifted, and Dora opened her eyes. He still hadn't turned, but that slight movement raised her hopes.

"Dora," he whispered again, this time a little louder. He still hadn't turned, but listening closely, she could hear the hitch in his breath, the tiny little sniffle that told her he was crying. She still didn't move. She didn't tighten her grip, or loosen it.

"Dora, I'm so sorry," he said, his voice soft. As she watched, he turned his head, and she caught sight of his profile. His face was pale, even with the shadows from the fire dancing against him. There was a bright splotch of color visible on the cheek she could see, and as she watched, his long lashes swept down as his eyes closed. His brow was furrowed, and his lips were pulled tight.

Dora felt her heart crack all over again, and finally, her fingers tightened on his shoulder. He felt the pressure; his brow smoothed out as it always did when she touched him. He sighed again.

"Dora, I" he began, then cut off sharply when she pulled at him.

"Don't you dare tell me you're sorry again, Remus Lupin," she said, tugging him around to face her. The tear tracks on his face glinted in the firelight, and Dora felt tears of her own spilling from her eyes.

"Don't you dare tell me you're sorry. You've nothing to be sorry for. Neither of us do." She stepped closer to him, and shifted her hand from her shoulder to his face. Her palm cupped his cheek, and she had to hold back a shiver at the tantalizing roughness of his stubble. She brought her other hand up, and couldn't hold back a sigh as that palm made contact.

At her touch, his blue eyes had snapped open. They locked on her face, and Dora drew in a sharp breath at the intensity of his gaze. His eyes were a bright, ocean blue, and as she stared into them, she saw a hint of amber around the black pupil.

"Oh Remus," she breathed, her face close to his, close enough that her breath fluttered across his lips. She kept her eyes on his and bit her lip as his widened, then narrowed, and the tip of his tongue darted out to trace where her breath had landed.

He clenched his hands at his sides to keep them from cupping her hips and pulling her close. She was already too close. Her scent was wrapped around him- jasmine and grass, wand oil and leather. He felt a groan at the back of his throat and swallowed it, then swallowed again when her eyes dropped to his throat. Her tongue darted out, tracing her lips, and he couldn't hold back a low moan then.

Remus felt his eyes slide closed, and therefore didn't see when she shifted. Instead, her lips pressed against his, and he felt the last of his resistance shatter. The pressure was light, but more than that, it was intimate. Dora's lips moved gently against his, pressing and retreating, never asking for more than he could give. Her lips, while dry, were warm, and her hands on his face were tender.

The kiss lasted for several heart beats, and when she pulled away, she didn't go far. She pulled his head down to rest against hers, and they stood there in silence, both with their eyes closed, neither knowing what to say. Slowly, Remus began to relax. His hands unclenched, and he raised them up to cup her elbows. He sighed, this one not as ragged, and felt some of the tension leave his shoulders.

"Dora," he murmured, then pulled back enough to look at her. He watched as her eyes opened slowly, and he felt his heart stutter at the pain he saw reflected there. Her hands slipped to his shoulders, and then wrapped around his neck and pulled him close.

"Please don't do this, Remus," she whispered against his ear. He could hear her blood pulsing in her veins again, and feel her heart pounding against his chest. His arms shifted so they could slip around her waist and he pulled her even closer, reveling in the warmth of her body pressed against his.

He turned his head and pressed his lips to his temple. "I wish there were another way, darling," he said, softly. Her arms tightened around his neck, but she didn't speak. He pressed another kiss to her temple, then more down the side of her face.

She shifted then, tilting her head to the opposite shoulder to grant him access, and even though he knew it was wrong, Remus took advantage. Dora's skin was so smooth, and she smelled so good, and she felt so right in his arms that he couldn't help it.

He skimmed his lips down her jaw, careful to keep away from the temptation of her lips. Instead, he traced the strong line with a closed mouth. He traced it back up to her ear, her shortened hair revealing the tender, pale skin located behind and just below it. With a low growl, he wet his lips with his tongue and then pressed his mouth there, biting gently, knowing she would buckle in his arms.

He wasn't disappointed. Not only did her legs falter, her arms tightened, holding him close, and she groaned. The sound of it danced on the air and drew an answering one from deep in his throat. Any restraint he had had was gone. His hands slipped to her hips, cupping them and drawing her closer, his fingers digging in deep as he held her in place. Her fingers found their way to his hair, and the growl he loosed sent vibrations against her skin when she tugged gently.

Knowing she wanted his lips on hers, he refused to be pulled away. Instead, he tentatively trailed his tongue up the crease behind her ear, curled it around the edge and back down, then drew her ear lobe into his mouth and bit down. His teeth were sharp, but he was careful, nipping gently, and was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath, hips pressing against his, and a low moan beside his ear.

"Remus," she whispered, her breath tickling his skin. He wasn't ready yet to lose himself and refused to pull back to meet her gaze. Instead, he began slowly pushing her back across the room while continuing to nuzzle, kiss and lick any inch of skin he could reach. Surprisingly, she didn't trip, and later, Remus would smile gently when he thought of that moment. Now, though; now, he was too determined.

Her back pressed against the wall and she groaned when she felt the pressure behind her. Remus's hands slipped down and cupped her bottom, earning a fierce groan in his ear and a panted "Remus," before he shifted his mouth again. His drew his lips along her jaw again, and this time, didn't dodge when her lips turned to his.

Their mouths met, and both swallowed the other's groan. This was not a chaste, dry kiss. Lips crashed together and mouths opened, tongues danced, tracing, plundering. Dora's fingers wove into Remus's hair, gripping so tightly his scalp would later be tender. Remus slipped one hand up her body, skimming gently even as his teeth nipped at her lower lip. His fingers slipped up her ribcage and cradled a breast in his palm, which earned him another growl before her lips closed around his tongue and she sucked it into her mouth.

Remus groaned at the pressure, at what Dora was simulating as she held his head still between her hands and tormented his sensibilities, her tongue stroking his. He had intended to cup her skull in his hand, to gentle their kisses, but Dora pressed her body against him, lifting herself, and he felt her legs shift, spreading, wrapping around his waist. The heat of her center pressing against his body was too much and he pulled his head back. His hand had found its way under her top during the intense kiss, his fingers kneading the soft skin and teasing the pebbly, hard nipple beneath the thin fabric of her bra. His other hand had slipped farther under her, unconsciously bracing her weight on his arm.

"Dora," he groaned, his eyes on hers, cloudy with desire. His breathing was ragged, his blood was pounding, his heart thumping steadily in his chest, his desire throbbing against his trousers. "Dora, this won't solve anything," he said, hating himself for the pain he saw in her eyes.

"I don't need it to solve anything, Remus," she replied, biting her lip. He could see tears forming, and wanted to wipe them away, to wrap her in his arms and kiss away her pain, to do anything to keep from hurting her any more. "I just need you, Remus," she whispered. She followed her words, and before he could respond, her lips were on his again, just as intense as before.

Remus felt himself shatter. _"If this is it, Remus, make it count,"_ he thought to himself, before slipping his hand out from under her shirt and wrapping his arm around her back. Her thighs tightened around him, as though to keep him close. Her hands gripped the front of his jumper so tightly that he would find small holes in it when he pulled it back on in the morning.

"Dora," he said, gently, his lips just barely touching hers, and waited for her to open her eyes.

"Please, Remus," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Remus leaned forward and brought his lips to hers, gently, this time. He kept the pressure light and shifted the arm behind her back up so that he could finally cup the back of her head. He kissed her until he felt her relax, and continued kissing her, savoring the feel of her against his body, the taste of her, the memories they shared. He kissed her, keeping it gentle, until he thought she was well and truly calmed down, and then slowly pulled back.

"Dora," he said again, this time nearly a whisper. He stroked her cheek with one finger, and felt her thighs loosen and fall away as she put her feet back on the ground. Her hands had unclenched at some point, and one had made its way back to toy with the shaggy hair at his neck line. The other came up and stroked his cheek.

Remus returned the gesture, cradling her cheek in one of his rough, scarred hands. "Come to bed with me, Dora," he said, then kissed her again. This one was still gentle, but more intense than the one he'd used to calm her. He kept the pressure light, but slowly traced the outline of her lips with his tongue, dampening them, before slipping between them and stroking hers sensually, suggestively.

"Come to bed with me," he whispered again, taking her hand in one of his and backing away from her. It didn't take long to cross the small room, and his silencing and locking charms were already in place, so he didn't need to take any time away from what little they had.

They reached his bed quickly in his small, rented room. Remus kicked off his shoes and brought his hands to the bottom of his jumper, only to be stopped by Dora's. He met her gaze and saw the conflict there- the need and the love warring with the pain of what was coming in the morning.

"Let me," she whispered, gripping the hem of his jumper and lifting. Remus nodded, unable to say anything in that moment, and lifted his arms. Dora was shorter than him, much shorter, and while she could morph that to solve the issue, he didn't want her to. He bent at the waist, allowing her to pull it up and over his head. The moment he was free, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her to him. Their lips met again, and he moaned softly into her mouth when her fingers danced over the skin of his stomach.

Tongues stroked against each other as Dora's fingers traced the lines of his muscles. Remus was a slim man, but a muscular one due to his condition. This wasn't their first time, and Remus wasn't surprised when Dora spent several moments tracing the washboard lines of his abs before slipping her hands up his chest to tangle in the patch of hair there. He groaned as her fingers skimmed over his nipples. They weren't as sensitive as hers, to be sure, but light pressure had been known to bend his will occasionally.

Dora tore her lips from his to return the favor he had bestowed on her earlier. Her lips traced the line of his jaw, nipping gently before pressing her tongue to the tender skin in the swell of his collar bone. Remus stood still, allowing her to take her pleasure, reveling in the feel of her against him, the scent of her, of her arousal, enveloping him. He imprinted it in his nostrils, hoping to keep it with him in the face of what was to come.

Dora's lips found his ear, and he was subjected to the same treatment he'd given her. He forced his knees to lock when she drew the lobe of his ear into her mouth, her breath tickling the short hairs lining the curve of his ear. He growled and gripped her shirt in his hands, dragging her close to him. Dora chuckled and let go of his ear, then pulled her head back. She had a mischievous glint in her eye, like she knew exactly what she was doing to him. She thrust her hips against him, then dropped her eyes to where their bodies met when she felt the proof of his arousal pressing against her.

Remus, impatient to feel her skin against his, dragged her top up quickly. Dora, of course, was Dora, and her arms got tangled. Remus took advantage, dropping to his knees before her while she struggled to get her arms free. He cupped her bottom in his hands and held her steady as she struggled, and pressed his lips to her firm abdomen.

Dora froze, and he smiled against her skin when he heard her suck in a breath. Her stomach muscles tensed, and Remus chuckled. The vibrations from his breath caused the pale golden hairs of her belly to stand on end, and Remus felt his body throb in response. Dora stopped moving, unable to concentrate on getting free when he was kneeling before her, and her body tensed. Remus chuckled again, and then set to his work.

He pressed soft, gentle kisses along the flat of her belly, making his way to one hip bone, then along the top of her jeans to the other, leaving a damp trail as he licked his way across. Dora's heart was racing, her body tense, but she didn't move. Instead, he was reward with tiny moans and sharp intakes of breath when his tongue dipped under the waistband of her pants. Her scent was much stronger now that he was close to her center, and his mouth was watering, aching for a taste of her. He kissed his way back along the waistband of her jeans and stopped in the center, just above the button. He pressed his lips there, then opened them so he could stroke the skin with the flat of his tongue. Dora's guttural groan drew one of his own in response.

Remus skimmed his hands up to her bare back, caressing her gently while he nibbled at the tender skin of her belly. Somehow, Dora struggled enough to free herself from the shirt trap, and Remus moaned when he felt her hands come down to rest of his shoulders, the fingers of one twirling in the short hairs at the back of his neck. Remus slipped his hands down her sides and brought them together at the button of her jeans.

His fingers worked the button free, and he gripped the zipper tab in his teeth. It took some work, but he managed to draw it down enough that her jeans opened, revealing plain white panties covering Dora's center. His hands had settled at her hips, cupping them, his fingers gently stroking back and forth, and he leaned his forehead against her belly, drawing in a breath, relaxing for a moment as her fingers played with her hair.

He knew they were both impatient at this point, but this would be the last time they were together like this, and he wanted to make it last, for both of them. He pressed one last kiss to her body, pressing his lips to the white cotton that covered her, drawing in her scent, feeling his own arousal surge, and then got to his feet. His hands were still cupping her hips, and he drew her close to him, his eyes on her face, pleased to see her own were closed in her pleasure. He got to watch them slowly open, got to see the swirling arousal, the surging desire. Dora's eyes were always a bright, vibrant, forest green when they were together like this, and this time, this last time, was no exception. Of all the things he loved about her, her eyes when they were like this were his absolute favorite.

He watched her watch him for a moment, and then leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to her lips.

"Dora," he whispered, skimming his hands up her sides to rest below her breasts.

"Remus," she countered, a cheeky grin crossing her lips as has her hands dipped down to his waist and then slipped beneath the fabric of his trousers. Remus smiled then, and leaned forward. His hands slid around to her back where his fingers worked the clasp of her bra free. Dora's hands left his body long enough to toss the flimsy garment away, and he chuckled when he felt them return to their possessive grip on his rump. He kissed her again, a hot, wet kiss, his tongue diving between her lips to stroke hers, and nibbled gently at her swollen bottom lip before pulling back. When he had, Dora looked down to see that his hands were now each cradling a breast.

As she watched, his long fingers spread out over the skin and she couldn't look away as she watched him fondle and caress her flesh. Remus watched her watch his hands, and bit down on the inside of his cheek to give himself something else to focus on. He let his fingers dance gently over her skin, cupping the swell of flesh, gently kneading, then rolled his hand so that his palm scraped over the stiff, swollen peak. Dora groaned, then groaned again when he lightly pinched the tips between his fingers. He gave a gentle tug and watched as she swayed towards him. Her eyes drifted closed and her mouth opened, her breath coming in quick pants. Her hands had drifted up to his hips and were gripping him tightly.

Wanting to see her writhe, he dipped his head and pressed a kiss to the top of one breast, then shifted to do it again to the other. Her skin was so smooth there, the scent of jasmine perfume so tantalizing that he slipped his tongue from his mouth to trace the curve of one while he gently tugged the peak of the other. He took a step backwards, feeling the edge of his bed behind his knees and sat down. He dropped a hand to Dora's waist and pulled her with him until she was over him on the bed, her knees planted on either side of his hips.

Her hands came up to rest on his shoulders, and Remus slipped one arm around her waist to support her, to hold her in place, and then opened his mouth. He drew the peak of her breast into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the nipple and then circling the skin beyond. Dora's breathing changed again- rapidly drawing air in, then huffing out. Her hands gripped his shoulders tightly, but she didn't try to pull away from him. Encouraged, he backed away enough to look up at her. Her eyes were closed tightly, her head tipped forward, her skin flushed. Pleased, he turned his attention back to the buds before him.

He stroked the left with his hand and focused his mouth on the right. His tongue danced over the peak, which grew even harder under his touch, and then he gently closed his teeth around it. Dora groaned, loudly this time, and her breath hissed out of her as she whispered his name. Pleased, he did it again, this time tugging just a bit with his teeth. Dora's fingers dove into his hair and pulled him closer while at the same time, rolling her hips towards him.

"Remus!" She shouted this time, apparently finding her voice. Her whole body tensed, then spasmed in his arms. Her arms tightened around his neck and her breathing stopped for a moment. He could hear her heart thudding in her chest, could feel the blood pulsing through her veins. Worried, he pulled back and looked up into her face.

It wasn't panic on her features. A slow, satisfied smile spread over his face as he realized what had happened. Dora was still in the throes of it, and didn't even notice that he stood up, lifting her with him, and spun her around. By the time she came back to herself, she was lying on her back on Remus's bed, and he was kneeling over her, his hands braced beside her head, his lips teasing the other breast.

"Remus?" Dora's voice was soft, barely audible, and Remus paused, glancing up to make sure she was ok. Her eyes were still green, although a darker, deeper green than normal. It was a shade he had never seen before.

"Are you all right, love?" he asked, moving up to lay beside her. He cupped her cheek in his hand and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, suddenly worried that it had been too much for her.

"What… what was… what happened?" Remus chuckled, and then leaned down to kiss her tenderly.

"You know what happened, Dora," he murmured against her lips. "And we haven't even started yet." Dora moaned against his mouth when Remus's fingers made their way down her body again. He moved his lips to her cheek, then along her jaw to her ear again, before pressing his tongue to the bundle of nerves behind it. Bracing his weight on one elbow, his tongue ran circles against her skin while his other hand cradled her breast.

Dora sighed and turned her head, exposing more skin to his touch, then brought her hand up to cup his. Their fingers tangled together and Remus smiled against her skin. He dragged his lips down to her throat and began pressing open mouth kisses where her pulse throbbed. Dora squirmed and tried to shift away, and Remus laughed before pulling back.

"What is it, love?" he asked, looking down at her with a gentle smile tugging at his lips.

"I love you, Remus," she said, her expression so open, so soft, so imploring that Remus felt his heart constrict in his chest. He didn't say anything, but he felt the emotion creeping across his face. Instead, he leaned down and kissed her, tenderly, keeping his lips soft and closed, just pressing his mouth to hers. They remained that way for several long heartbeats, until Dora sighed and shifted beneath him. When he lifted his head, her eyes were bright with unshed tears as she watched him.

"Please don't cry, Dora," he whispered, bringing a hand up to cradle her cheek as he shifted to lay beside her. He leaned forward and kissed an escaped tear away from her cheek, the kissed his way to her lips again. Dora sighed when their mouths met, and her arms came up to pull him close as she shifted to face him. Her body came to rest against him, her nipples scraping his chest, and he groaned before sliding an arm underneath her and pulling her close.

He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue between her lips to mate with hers, using his teeth to nip at her bottom lips, then drawing it into his mouth to suck at it before releasing her. One of his hands was cupping her hip, holding her against him, the other had fanned out across her back, and he began lightly tracing circles on her skin as he fought to catch his breath.

"Please don't cry, love," he murmured to her. "Please don't cry, please don't cry," he continued to whisper as he rolled her to her back. He felt her fingers thread in his hair, felt her tug gently, trying to pull his face up to hers. "Please don't cry, darling," he whispered again before dipping his head and drawing her breast into his mouth. He worked the tip with his teeth, tugging gently, and was rewarded with a deep groan of pleasure.

He shifted to the other one, swirled his tongue around the tip and then kissed his way back to the center of her chest. "Please don't cry, Dora," he whispered again, before planting a line of kisses down her belly. He scooted down on the bed, backing towards her feet as he continued to kiss the skin of her abdomen. The lower he got, the more she squirmed.

Finally, he reached the opened waistband of her jeans. The white cotton was there, teasing him. "Please don't cry, darling. I love you. Please don't cry," he murmured. His fingers found their way to the belt loops and he slowly began to tug her jeans down, still murmuring against her skin, growing impatient to touch her, to taste her. Dora shifted, lifted her hips to allow him to tug the tight jeans down, and then kicked her legs until they slid off the rest of the way.

Dora lay before him, wearing only her tiny white panties. The light flicking from the fire danced over her, creating erotic shadows, highlighting the rises and valleys of her body. As Remus lay between her thighs, he watched the light play over her skin. He felt the warmth of her body surround him. He heard every little sound she was making- the rustled of her skin against the bedclothes as she shifted, the moans coming from deep within her chest as his fingers traced gentle patterns along her thighs, the quick breathing, the racing of her heartbeat. This moment, this night, would be forever etched in his memory, and he wanted to remember everything. Every sight, every sound, every touch, every taste.

As he lay between her thighs, Dora rolled her hips, thrusting them towards him, hinting at what she needed. Needing no other indication, Remus slipped his arms under her thighs and brought his hands up to cradle the outside swell of her hips, then dipped his head. The bright white cotton was only a thin barrier, but for the moment, he was glad of it.

He pressed his lips in a closed-mouth kiss to the mound before him, and had to fight off a smile at the groan he received for his effort. Dora, impatient now, rolled her hips again, and Remus laughed softly. He could smell her arousal. It was thick, thicker than a perfume, more potent than any amortentia he had ever encountered. Saliva pooled in his mouth, and still, he took his time.

He pulled his head back to look at her, and noticed the spot of dampness that had appeared below where he'd kissed. He leaned forward and nudged at the spot with his nose, drawing in her scent, breathing it in deeply, before slipping his tongue between his lips and pressing it there.

The scent of her was powerful. The taste… the taste was exquisite. Even with the cotton barrier between them soaking up the juices, Remus let the taste of it sit on his tongue. He didn't move, didn't press for more, only stayed still. He let the taste settle on his tongue, and thought he'd never tasted anything so wonderful before. Eager for more, he got to his knees, slipped his fingers under the waistband and slowly drew the fabric down her thighs.

With the cotton barrier gone there was nothing but his own trousers and briefs separating them. Remus looked up, wanting to see her face, the pleasure that was writ there. Instead, their eyes locked. Intense green, deep blue, flecks of amber. Neither moved, neither breathed, neither blinked. Dora's knees were still raised, her center hidden between her closed thighs. As they stared at each other, she slowly dropped her knees to the bed, opening herself to his view. Remus, unable to do anything else, dropped his gaze to her core.

"Fuck, Dora," he said, not caring in the slightest that he didn't often use that word. His voice was harsh, strained, and it took everything in him not to dive forward. Her center was damp for him, the folds of flesh glistening, the scent beckoning. His mouth watered, his cock throbbed painfully, his hands clenched.

"Dora," he breathed, the sound choked with emotion. She didn't answer, not verbally. As he watched, a hand rose up off the bed and slowly skimmed over her thigh, coming to rest just above her pubic mound. Her small, dainty fingers shifted slightly, brushing through the short hairs covering her flesh, and Remus was lost. With a growl, he launched himself forward, not caring that he landed awkwardly on his erection, not caring that he was still half clothed, not caring about anything beyond what lay before him.

He slipped his hands under her thighs and lifted her hips slightly, then dipped his head. He breathed in deeply, the slipped his tongue out of his mouth to lap at her flesh. At his first contact, Dora moaned loudly, her body tensed, and her fingers came to twine themselves through his hair. At his second, the moan was silent, her body tensed even further, and he felt her shatter. His scalp burned where he fingers tugged, but he continued.

His tongue slid up and down along the folds of her skin, stroking gently, tasting, pleasing. For several moments, the only sound in the room was Dora's harsh breathing. Her body finally relaxed, the fingers in his hair loosening, her hips settling deeper into his hands.

"Remus," she began in a broken voice. That was as far as she got, however, because Remus worked his tongue into the folds and pressed against the tight bundle of nerves hidden from view. Dora shot upright, nearly jostling him away, and her thighs clamped around his head as her fingers dug in even more. It wasn't a moan, this time, but a scream that tore from her throat. Remus curled his hands around her hip bones and pulled her closer to his face, his tongue working furiously, stroking and flicking the button he'd found.

"REMUS!" Dora cried, the muscles in her thighs jumping against his ears. She pulled hard on his hair, and he pulled his tongue back into his mouth. He couldn't move away from her, not that he wanted to, but he needed her to relax. He began drawing gently circles on her skin with his fingers, and slowly, her hold on him slackened. She lay back down, and her hands dropped from his hair to the mattress, her thighs falling open again, and she lay there, spent, her breath coming slowly while her heart continued to race.

"Dora, are you all right?" Remus asked, watching her closely.

"Dora?" he whispered when she didn't answer him. Still no response, although he could hear her heart rate slowing. He turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to the skin of her inner thigh, and finally, got a response. A low moan escaped her lips, and he smiled before pulling back. He got to his knees and slid up beside her, careful not to do anything more than brush his fingers along her hip.

"Dora, love, are you all right?" he whispered into her ear, nuzzling at her gently as he did so.

Her head turned, her eyes drifted open, and a lazy smile crossed her lips as she brought a hand up to tangle her fingers with his again.

"I'm all right, Remus," she murmured. "More than all right." Remus chuckled, and then leaned forward to kiss her gently. Dora sighed beneath him, her breath mingling with his, her lips soft and pliant beneath his. Remus broke the kiss, but didn't retreat. Instead, he slipped his lips down her jaw again, stroking the skin there, before moving further down her body. He kissed her collarbone, hesitating there, tasting the saltiness of her skin. His hand slipped down to rest on her belly, and he lay down beside her.

She pulled her hand out from between them and brought it up to run her fingers through his hair. Remus smiled as she stroked him, suddenly feeling very content. He listened to her heart beat under his chest, and slowly, his own matched her tempo. His fingers began to trace lazy circles again, and they lay like that for a long time, the fire burning low now, but still casting shadows.

"Remus?" Dora's voice was quiet.

"Yes, love?" he answered, not moving his head to look at her.

"Do you love me?" Her voice was so soft he could almost pretend he hadn't heard her, but he had. He bit back a sigh as his fingers stilled, and then picked his head up off her shoulder to meet her gaze.

"Dora…" his voice trailed off as he looked down at her. The light from the fire was just bright enough that he could see the glint of tears again, could see that her eyes had changed color. They were no longer that deep, vibrant, aroused green. Now, now they were _her_ eyes, hazel, like her father's. He lifted his gaze higher, and saw that the bright pink of her hair was gone, the strands had lengthened, losing their spiky edge, had shifted to a darker, more somber color that was difficult to distinguish in the low light of the room.

"Oh Dora," he said, as his heart broke in his chest. It felt as though someone had clawed him open, shattered the breastbone, and stabbed an icicle into his heart. He leaned down, unable to answer her with words, and instead answered with his lips.

He pressed his to hers urgently, needful, rough this time. He rolled on top of her, and her thighs shifted to accommodate him. He planted his hands on either side of his head, and slowly, methodically, told her how much he loved her, using only his lips, his teeth, his tongue. He felt himself harden again, and pressed his erection against her, silently begging her to feel what he felt for her. He moaned into her mouth as she returned his aggression, lifting her hips against his and grinding against his trousers, her teeth closing over his bottom lip and pulling it away from his jaw.

His eyes opened, and he wasn't surprised to see that hers were as well; she was watching him, daring him, encouraging him. The hazel had faded to an amber color, one he was very familiar with. He kept his eyes open, locked on hers, as he dipped down to kiss her again. It was one of the most erotic experiences of his life- their eyes and their lips and their tongues saying everything they needed to say to each other, but were unable to voice aloud. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and stroked the insides of her cheeks, her tongue, the roof of her mouth, her teeth, and seconds later, she did the same to him. He pulled her bottom lip into his mouth and bit down, hard enough to see her wince, then stroked it with his tongue to sooth the hurt, and then winced when she did the same to him. She drew his tongue into her mouth, her eyes on his, a sparkle glinting in the dying light of the fire as she worked her lips up and down the muscle, stroking with her tongue, sucking lightly, thrusting her hips against him as she did so.

He nearly, _nearly_ lost the ability to breathe when she did that. He lost the ability to keep his eyes open. He returned her thrust, driving against her firmly, pressing his erection between her thighs, feeling her heat, if not her wetness. His hands fisted in the blankets beneath them, and he pulled his head back, away from the sinful, delicious mouth of the woman he loved, and let out a roar as he surged forward again.

His erection was like steel, pressing against her body, trapped within layers of cloth, throbbing with need. He thrust again, and felt her thighs come up and wrap around his waist, holding him tightly against her. She answered, moving her hips, rolling them, spreading her essence all over his trousers. Her hands came up and she gripped his waistband, pulling him closer against her.

"Remus," she growled, color rising on her chest, in her face. Her eyes were blazing now, her lips swollen, her eyes shining. He looked down at her, his heart swelling, and leaned down once more. This kiss was bruising, rough. Their lips crashed together, smashed between two pairs of strong, firm teeth. Her hand slid up his back, her nails scraping painfully, erotically over his skin. She clutched at him, her thighs clamped around him, holding him in place, while she destroyed what was left of him with her mouth.

Her teeth scraped his neck, and he groaned, tilting his head, and then his eyes snapped open when she fastened her teeth in the crook of his neck and bit down. Her lips closed around her teeth, and he felt a strong, sucking, pressure there. When she finally pulled back, she grinned at him, before returning to attack his mouth. Her hips rolled again, and again, her thighs pulling him closer, her hands dragging across the scars on his back, curving over his shoulders, squeezing the muscles of his arms. Her hips pumped harder, more quickly, and her head dropped back, slamming into the mattress as her body tensed.

Remus saw his opening and dropped his head lower. His teeth closed over a hardened peak, and he bit down, harder than before, but not hard enough to hurt. Dora's hands curled, her fingers digging into his shoulders as she pumped her hips once more, and then a shout erupted from her mouth as she came against him. Her body spasmed, working against him, and Remus had to release the mouthful and pull back before he embarrassed himself. He pushed back away from her, but couldn't move. Her thighs were still clamped around him, her hands still gouging his arms as she thrashed through another orgasm.

"Dora," he groaned through gritted teeth. Her hips lifted again, her body shuddering. "Dora!" His voice was strained, louder than intended, and he heaved himself back, breaking the hold she had on him. He got to his feet quickly and watched as her thighs fell open the bed, her arms falling down beside her. The flush of her skin was visible even in the looming darkness of the room, and suddenly he wanted to see it all.

" _Lumos,"_ he growled, suddenly thankful for his wandless magic ability. The fire flared to life again, bright and roaring in the grate, and candles around the room burst into flame. Dora blinked at the sudden brightness and turned her head to the side. He could see her pulse throbbing in her throat, just under the surface of her skin, and quickly leaned forward. He closed his lips there, over the beating of her heart, and bit down. He marked her, as thoroughly as she had marked him. A faint copper taste invaded his senses, and he pulled back, worried. A smear of red was on her skin, but a quick test showed he'd bitten into his lip. He brushed the spot away and stood tall again.

"Nymphadora," he said, grinning wickedly when she turned to glare at him. His hands drifted to the button of his trousers, and he watched as her eyes zeroed in on his fingers. Her mouth opened slightly as his fingers flexed, pushing the button out of it's loop. Her breathing changed again, coming faster, and she pulled herself up to lean on her elbows, watching him.

"Nymphadora," he said again, softer this time. The smile was still on his face, and he watched her watch him. The use of her given name hadn't distracted her. He watched, pleased, as a pale, dainty hand crept over her belly, over her thigh, and dipped down to cover her center.

"Nymphadora," he growled, the intensity getting her attention. She lifted her gaze to his eyes and smiled at him, her fingers continuing to move, slowly dipping between the folds of her flesh, drawing out some of her essence, her fingers dragging across her skin, painting a trail for his eyes to follow. He heard a moan, and then an answering one, and was surprised to realize the first had come from him.

"What are you trying to do to me, love?" he asked, stepping closer to the bed. His fingers had continued working to free his length. The teeth of the zipper opened slowly as he drew the teeth down. Dora's eyes had returned to his hands, watching his progress, her fingers continuing to massage herself. As he watched, her tongue came out, tracing the seem of her lips, and he groaned loudly. His erection was throbbing, begging to be touched, so he did. He slipped his hand between the cotton of his boxers and his abdomen, his eyes sliding closed when his fingers encountered hot, firm flesh. He stroked gently, down the shaft, then back up, and moaned softly when his fingers trailed through his own essence. He stroked his fingers down again, and was so distracted by the feeling that he didn't hear, or see, Dora move.

As his fingers started the journey back up, he felt her hands grip both layers of clothing and viciously pull them down. He was glad he was already holding himself in his hand- feeling it snap downward wouldn't have felt nice at all. His eyes opened, just in time to see Dora's pink head dive down. _"When had it changed_?" he wondered for the split second before her lips wrapped around him.

Remus went blind. His vision cleared to white, his knees locked, his hands fisted tightly in the short, spiky pink hair. His trousers and boxers were pooled at his feet, his body taught, his erection throbbing, hot, wet. His mind went blank. He forgot where he was. He forgot everything, everything except the woman before her. His heart throbbed, filled with emotion, he groaned as her tongue circled around the head of his cock, then lapped at the fluid that had burst the damn.

" _Dora_ ," he groaned, thrusting gently as her head pulled back, away from him. Her small hand had come up and wrapped itself around the base, the pressure solid, and warm. His knees shook as she pulled away, the air feeling suddenly cool against his damp skin. He tossed his head, trying to clear the fog from his eyes, but wasn't successful before her next assault.

All he could do was stand there, knees locked, and groan as his length disappeared into her mouth, as her tongue danced over his skin, tasting, licking, stroking. And still, she dipped lower. Her guiding hand fell away, she was on her knees before him, and he had nothing to hold on to, nothing but the short, spikey, pink hair. His cock bumped against something firm, the head nudging the back of her throat, and he couldn't remember ever feeling anything quite so exquisite. That is, until she swallowed around him.

Her hands were braced on his thighs, her mouth open and relaxed around him, her tongue stroking the underside, and then… and then, she swallowed. Her muscles constricted around him, fitting him like a glove, stroking, releasing, and then again. The sound that left his throat, he wasn't even sure there was a word for it. He thrust forward, and then again when she didn't pull away. He could feel her nose pressing into his pubic bone, knew he should back away, that this was too much, but _"holy mother of Merlin, this feels so…"_ "Dora!" he shouted, before pulling back quickly. His cock slid of her mouth, the saliva coating it shining in the firelight.

Dora's expression was confused as she looked up into his face. Remus stood, staring down at her, his eyes now fully amber-colored and reflecting the dance of the flames. His breathing was ragged, his nostrils flaring out with every heaving breath he drew into his chest. His cock throbbed in front of her, jutting up proudly, shining, glistening, leaking its own tears of joy. Dora licked her lips, eager for another taste of him, and began to lean forward again. She got one tiny swipe with her tongue, taking the pearly drop of precum that had slipped out of him with her as he yanked her to her feet.

Remus swooped in, his lips crashing against hers, all gentleness long gone, and slid his hands around to grip her bottom. He pulled her tight up against him, his erection pressed between them, his teeth pulling at her lips, biting, rough, the pain then soothed away by his stroking tongue. Dora's hands slipped over his shoulders, and she gripped him hard, holding on while the thrust against her, into her mouth, squeezed her and fondled her. They were both moaning now, his deep, rumbling from his chest; hers, soft, almost whimpers as she slowly encouraged him to gentle his kiss.

Remus lifted her up, holding her against her chest, cradling her to him as his arms slipped up to wrap around her back, his fingers slipping around to stroke her sides. His lips gentled, his teeth returned to their proper place, and he began to soothe the hurts he'd inflicted with his tongue. Dora's thighs wrapped themselves around his waist, and he drew in a sharp breath when his cock nestled between her lips. Her arms slipped around his shoulders, and she pulled herself up higher against him, then shifted her hips, stroking his length with her damp heat.

"Dora," he whispered, turning towards the bed. He bent and set her down at the edge and moaned as her heat fell away from him. She scooted back on the bed, giving him room to follow her down, smiling as she watched him come after her.

"Remus," she replied, before he kissed her again. He pressed her to the mattress and then settled himself over her, their bodies aligning perfectly, his throbbing cock nestled between her wet, warm lips, his belly pressing against hers, her nipples scraping against his chest, his chest hair tickling her soft skin. He kissed again, slowly, savoring the feel of her against him, their naked bodies pressing together, their skin meeting. Her hands skimmed gently down his back, soothing the scratches from earlier, and coming to rest as his hips. Her fingers traced one of the old scars there, one so old, he'd forgotten it's story. Her lips danced against his, pressing gently, sliding, sensual. Her tongue slipped out to toy with his, and they both moaned as Remus thrust against her.

"Remus, please," she begged, opening her eyes to his. "Please, darling, please," she begged, rolling her hips, tightening her grip. "Please," she whispered once more before his lips captured hers. He slipped a hand between their bodies, dragging a finger through her slit just once, and then wrapped his fingers around himself.

"Dora," he whispered, kissing her gently before resting his forehead against hers. "Dora," he murmured, as the head of his penis slipped inside her.

"Mmmmmm" the moaned together, as their bodies joined. Their pelvises touched, and Remus didn't move, didn't want to, only wanted to revel in the feel of her walls stroking him. It was so warm there, so damp, and she fit him so perfectly. The plump lips were split and pressing against him, warming his pubis, and as he lay there, he could feel her muscles working, squeezing gently, massaging his shaft.

"Merlin, Dora," he said, before pulling back almost completely out. She moaned, tipped her head back, and lifted her hips off the bed, trying to keep him within her. With his head just at her entrance, he paused. Her chest was lifted off the bed, her nipples hard and pink in the candle light, and he bent his head again, drawing one into his mouth. Dora groaned as his tongue circled the sensitive flesh, and he thrust forward again, bottoming out within her.

Her groan was loud and long, and her muscles squeezed him even harder this time, coaxing more fluid out of him. He felt the pressure building low in his body, and wasn't ready for it to end yet. If he stayed where he was, her muscles would do their job, and this, this last time, would be over. "Not yet, Dora," he growled, releasing her breast.

He braced his hands beside her head again, and pulled his hips back away from her. "Not yet," he said again, before surging forward. His entire length disappeared inside her again, quickly this time, and he pulled back out before she could set to work. "Not yet," again, sliding inside her effortlessly, pulling back in. "Not yet," he whispered, thrusting again, and then dipping down to kiss her. The kiss continued as his hips pumped in and out, never slowing, never allowing her to clamp down around him and force the end.

Dora's soon lost control, her hands holding his hips, grounding her, her hips rising to meet his in a dance as old as time, fading away when he retreated, lifting again, retreating. Their mouths met, again and again, their tongues tangling, their breaths shared. The pair of them lost track of how many times he had thrust. The only sounds in the room were the crackling of the fire, and the sounds of their flesh meeting, the hot, wet sucking sound of a man sliding home into his lover.

"Dora," he groaned, breaking their kiss. The tempo of his thrusts had picked up, and he wasn't going to last much longer. Her eyes opened, locking on his, and he smiled when he saw they were green again. He pulled out and held still for a moment, staring down at her, memorizing her face as it was in that moment. Her pink, spiky hair fanned out on the blanked, her skin flushed, her eyes bright, her lips swollen, her body open below him. He looked further, dropping his gaze to where their bodies were connected.

"So beautiful, Dora," he said, watching as he slid himself home again. He pulled back, groaning as he saw her body cling to him, moaning as he slid forward, burying himself again.

"Remus," she panted, her head tipped forward so she, too, could watch. "Remus, please, I'm so close." Another thrust, another gasp for breath. "Remus, I'm…" and then she shattered. Her body clamped down around him, her muscles spasming, gripping him tightly, stroking, working him. He pulled back once more, until only the tip remained inside her, and then, looking down into her face, he rammed home a final time. His body pulsed, his orgasm ripping through him, a shout tearing from his throat. His body strained, his hips pumping miniscule little thrusts against her, her walls clamping down and releasing so quickly. The blood was thundering in his ears as the last of it faded away.

His body sagged, his muscles depleted, and he fell against her, still inside her, buried as deep as he could be. With one last squeeze, her muscles retracted, and he stayed where he was, warm, safe, protected. Her arms came up and cradled him to her, her hands stroking the skin of his back. Her lips pressed against his temple, and he turned, meeting them with his own. This kiss was gentle, soft, quiet. Lips pressing against lips. He shifted, and brought his hands up to slide them under her shoulders, holding her against him. Still lost in emotion, their lips saying what their words couldn't, he thought here, now, was the happiest he would ever be. He rolled to his side, taking her with him, continuing to touch, to kiss, to not let go. He slipped out of her, soft now, exhausted.

"Remus," she whispered against his lips.

"Yes, Dora," he answered, pulling back to press his lips to her forehead. He couldn't bring himself to say the words, but he could at least give her this, the answer to her question. She sighed, knowing what he meant, and nestled into the crook of his shoulder.

"I love you, too," she murmured. And then, there was silence. Her arm had slipped over his hip, her leg across his, his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. Her breathing slowed, and Remus knew she had fallen asleep. He sighed, and pressed another kiss to her forehead before glancing around he room. He summoned a blanket from the closet and draped it over them, then whispered _"Nox."_ The candles gutted out and the fire damped down immediately, sending the small room into almost complete darkness.

"I love you too, Dora," he whispered, hoping that she heard him, somewhere, somehow. "I love you too."

 _Dearest Dora,_

 _I feel like a heel for doing this like this. Last night meant the world to me. Honestly, it all has. I never expected to find what I found with you. Dora, you've made me feel things I'd never expected to feel. Never even hoped to feel. You love me, Nymphadora Tonks (yes, I said it!), you love ALL of me, and the pure joy with which you do so is something that I will treasure for all of my life and into the next. You, Nymphadora Tonks, are everything I always told myself I didn't deserve. You are truly the best of me. Writing this, leaving like this, has broken me. I have to do this, Dora. I'm the only one who can, and you, you deserve so much more than me. I know we've had this conversation so many times already, I know you're scoffing at this letter, your brow furrowed, muttering under your breath. You're arguing with yourself over my 'pigheadedness' and telling my I'm a right fool. And, it's true. I am. I'm a right fool for you, Dora. A piece of my heart will always be with you, You, Dora, you make me whole, and after this, after last night, I will never be whole again without you. That, my darling Dora, is a price I will willingly pay, if only to know that you are safe. I love you, with every fiber of my being, every beat of my heart. I will always love you, Dora. You know that, deep in your heart, that this is for the best. I can't… where I'm going, I just… can't. I can't have you will me. I can't ask you to wait for me. There is every chance that you will be waiting the rest of your life. Please, Dora, please don't hate me. At least, don't hate me forever. Hate me now, for a while. But please, eventually, forgive me._

 _You are the light of my life, Nymphadora. Your safety, your health, your happiness, mean the absolute world to me. I may not be able to safeguard all of those for you, but I am trying. Please, Dora, do not forget to live if I am gone. You are too bright, to lovely, too vivacious to fade away. Live your life, Dora. Live it to the fullest. Remember me fondly. Let me go. I love you._

 _~ Remus John Lupin._


End file.
